Facing the Giants!

With all that has been going on in my walk with God and the way He has whispered to me has shown me that it really is all God! Right now I am in a full on attack from satan and he is trying to win! So much has happened physically to myself and my family that I am convinced that it is spiritual warfare! The reason is because satan thinks that I am not ready and therefore I will not fight back! Also I basically gave satan freedom to do what he wanted when I committed the sins that I did! Now that I am trying to change it all the 2 year old temper tantrums are starting (from him of course)!!! We have hade bronchitis in our house for 7 weeks now (starting in November), I had something pop in my back this past week that has made the pain excrutiating (I would rather be in labor with a baby right now!), every time that I try to start to do something in submitting to my husband or to make right in my home and give to God something happens that is crushing or devastating (feelings that is all I will say!)!!!! Tonight I was able to speak to my best friend and big sister in the whole wide world and did she have an earfull to tell me! Thank you so very, very much sis! I got on my knees and cried out to God!!! My sis reminded me that God is NOT like any man that I know here on earth and that I needed to take EVERYTHING before Him and LAY IT DOWN COMPLETELY!!!! I have done that and I am still working on it! It is not just a 5 minute session that you do and then it is done, it is like something that has to be rewritten! Takes time and tears and changes that can only be made and done by God! It is a daily, no let me change that, minute by minute thing that has to be given to God until it becomes so second nature it is no longer a thought but an action! Recently I caught the movie Facing the Giants on TBN, if you have not seen this movie WATCH IT! It is awesome and it has a Life lesson for everyone! I just feel right now that is exactly where I am at! I am facing Giants, I am in an open field, rain pouring down hard, looking to the left and right and see no covering to run to and hide under, thinking that I should look straight up but justifying why I haven't! "Sorrow looks back.....Worry looks around......Faith looks up!" keeps running through my head but all I keep saying to God is "I don't know if I have enough Faith" and all I keep hearing is "If you have Faith as small as a mustard seed, I can do the rest. Take the first step Shauna". All the pain and hurt that is surrounding me is making my legs feel like there are concrete blocks on both of them and I am not able to lift them. The moment is coming when all of that pain and hurt will be shattered and that step will be taken! Please pray for me if and when you can, pray that God will break down whatever it is that I am blocking from being changed in me. "The Giant is calling out my name and he laughs at me...". Satan you WILL NOT WIN!

I have posted a few videos on here for what I am going through right now and what I feel really ministers to my heart! Also in the top portion I have added Psalm 34 and Psalm 40 as 2 chapters that are really speaking to me right now! I will be reading them every chance that I can! (NKJV version). I need to go for now!

With my heart in His Hands,

Shauna

God works in mysteries ways!

Good evening everyone!

Yes I am up very late but I happen to be a night owl! I was actually cleaning up and set down to take a break! I found 2 articles on Yahoo that really gave me some deeper insight into the walk God has recently started me on! First was this one http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24191/dating-101-seven-things-no-one-tells-you-about-marriage and the next one was http://www.redbookmag.com/super-happy-couples-ll?kw=ist ! God used them to teach me so much that it was not even funny! My outlook on marriage has been so messed up that I have not even noticed the changes that I need to make in me and (as Jessi Duplantis would say) stickin thinkin! It is amazing how we see all that needs to be changed in our partner and yet don't see all that needs to be plucked and regrown in our own self!!!!

The first article talked about how things need to be seen as regular every day things and to get the fairytale idea out of our head regarding marriage! I am not saying that I am fluttering about thinking it will be perfect, but I didn't look at my marriage as there would be sameness everyday and I have to decide what I am going to make of those days! Meaning I can take it out on my husband (which I have done as of lately), or I can make it to be a learning day for me of what can I do for my husband!

The second article talks about the way you can build your marriage to be happy! Not 100% of the time, but as much as possible so when you go through the hard times you will have reserves to be able to get through and be made even stronger for it together!

Both articles were just great and something that I needed! I even felt the need to email them to my mom, aunt and best friend just because they can be helpful even if things might look perfect at the time! New things can help you grow no matter where you are at!

The words that are now stuck in my head and I guess you could say is my new year resolution, is what Dr Phil has said many times on his show. When he wakes up in the morning he thinks, "what can I do to make my wife happy today?" So from now on, I will be thinking "What can I do to make my husband happy today?"

You will find in life that sometimes the little things in life makes someone you love the happiest! If only we could all learn this maybe we would have a different way of thinking!

With my heart in His Hands,

Shauna