Popping in!

Hello Everyone!

Just wanted to say Hi and let yall know that I still do exsist! I have been through some pretty tough times physically, mentally and emotionally! I will be sharing with yall real soon some stuff that has happened! I just had another surgery and had to have my ovaries removed so now I am completely gutted! No woman parts, just outward woman stuff! LOL! I am now in the middle of menopause at the age of 28 so it has been hard to say the least! I will be getting everything updated soon so bear with me! I hope yall are doing good and I hope to catch back up with yall! Here is a poem that I wrote recently to give yall an idea of what has been going on!

April 5, 2009
Resurrection

The ominous cloak remains
disguising, restricting my view
And it embraces all that I am
petrified to face.

Heavy burdened it becomes
Above me, on my shoulders
As a yolk to an ox
Causing every bone in my
Body to cry out in agony.

To my core it is reaching
In hopes of destroying
My heart. Taking away the
Only thing that might be
Left pounding, living, boundless
Within.

My mind is now a fog, powerless
To continue simple tasks that use
To be so unchallenging; becoming breakdowns
And attacks of what I have distorted into

Tearing, ripping, and clawing erratically.
Part of my soul trying
To retreat while the darkness
seeks to enter by force. I’m unable to
Break away from the shell
Of me for fear of what
The dementors will carry out.


The end is not in sight. The burden remains
As if to be a sentence that is undefined
And carried out with no redemption
My merit is in question.
Causing me to scream out
“Am I really not worth it?”

Weeping feverishly for something,
Someone to come and eradicate all
That this cloak has engrossed around
my inner most being. Waiting for the day
to come that the chains that have bound
will fall away from its enslaved being

For this will be the day of true Resurrection
that will be carried out by Abba Father
out of His absolute profound and authentic
love for the prodigal daughters arrival
from her absentness. Holding her in
the everlasting loving arms of her Heavenly Daddy
and whispering “Daughter you are worth all of it!”


Written By: Shauna Hernandez copyrighted 2009

Love yall and miss yall!

With my heart in His Hands
Shauna

Facing the Giants!

With all that has been going on in my walk with God and the way He has whispered to me has shown me that it really is all God! Right now I am in a full on attack from satan and he is trying to win! So much has happened physically to myself and my family that I am convinced that it is spiritual warfare! The reason is because satan thinks that I am not ready and therefore I will not fight back! Also I basically gave satan freedom to do what he wanted when I committed the sins that I did! Now that I am trying to change it all the 2 year old temper tantrums are starting (from him of course)!!! We have hade bronchitis in our house for 7 weeks now (starting in November), I had something pop in my back this past week that has made the pain excrutiating (I would rather be in labor with a baby right now!), every time that I try to start to do something in submitting to my husband or to make right in my home and give to God something happens that is crushing or devastating (feelings that is all I will say!)!!!! Tonight I was able to speak to my best friend and big sister in the whole wide world and did she have an earfull to tell me! Thank you so very, very much sis! I got on my knees and cried out to God!!! My sis reminded me that God is NOT like any man that I know here on earth and that I needed to take EVERYTHING before Him and LAY IT DOWN COMPLETELY!!!! I have done that and I am still working on it! It is not just a 5 minute session that you do and then it is done, it is like something that has to be rewritten! Takes time and tears and changes that can only be made and done by God! It is a daily, no let me change that, minute by minute thing that has to be given to God until it becomes so second nature it is no longer a thought but an action! Recently I caught the movie Facing the Giants on TBN, if you have not seen this movie WATCH IT! It is awesome and it has a Life lesson for everyone! I just feel right now that is exactly where I am at! I am facing Giants, I am in an open field, rain pouring down hard, looking to the left and right and see no covering to run to and hide under, thinking that I should look straight up but justifying why I haven't! "Sorrow looks back.....Worry looks around......Faith looks up!" keeps running through my head but all I keep saying to God is "I don't know if I have enough Faith" and all I keep hearing is "If you have Faith as small as a mustard seed, I can do the rest. Take the first step Shauna". All the pain and hurt that is surrounding me is making my legs feel like there are concrete blocks on both of them and I am not able to lift them. The moment is coming when all of that pain and hurt will be shattered and that step will be taken! Please pray for me if and when you can, pray that God will break down whatever it is that I am blocking from being changed in me. "The Giant is calling out my name and he laughs at me...". Satan you WILL NOT WIN!

I have posted a few videos on here for what I am going through right now and what I feel really ministers to my heart! Also in the top portion I have added Psalm 34 and Psalm 40 as 2 chapters that are really speaking to me right now! I will be reading them every chance that I can! (NKJV version). I need to go for now!

With my heart in His Hands,

Shauna

God works in mysteries ways!

Good evening everyone!

Yes I am up very late but I happen to be a night owl! I was actually cleaning up and set down to take a break! I found 2 articles on Yahoo that really gave me some deeper insight into the walk God has recently started me on! First was this one http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24191/dating-101-seven-things-no-one-tells-you-about-marriage and the next one was http://www.redbookmag.com/super-happy-couples-ll?kw=ist ! God used them to teach me so much that it was not even funny! My outlook on marriage has been so messed up that I have not even noticed the changes that I need to make in me and (as Jessi Duplantis would say) stickin thinkin! It is amazing how we see all that needs to be changed in our partner and yet don't see all that needs to be plucked and regrown in our own self!!!!

The first article talked about how things need to be seen as regular every day things and to get the fairytale idea out of our head regarding marriage! I am not saying that I am fluttering about thinking it will be perfect, but I didn't look at my marriage as there would be sameness everyday and I have to decide what I am going to make of those days! Meaning I can take it out on my husband (which I have done as of lately), or I can make it to be a learning day for me of what can I do for my husband!

The second article talks about the way you can build your marriage to be happy! Not 100% of the time, but as much as possible so when you go through the hard times you will have reserves to be able to get through and be made even stronger for it together!

Both articles were just great and something that I needed! I even felt the need to email them to my mom, aunt and best friend just because they can be helpful even if things might look perfect at the time! New things can help you grow no matter where you are at!

The words that are now stuck in my head and I guess you could say is my new year resolution, is what Dr Phil has said many times on his show. When he wakes up in the morning he thinks, "what can I do to make my wife happy today?" So from now on, I will be thinking "What can I do to make my husband happy today?"

You will find in life that sometimes the little things in life makes someone you love the happiest! If only we could all learn this maybe we would have a different way of thinking!

With my heart in His Hands,

Shauna