With all that has been going on in my walk with God and the way He has whispered to me has shown me that it really is all God! Right now I am in a full on attack from satan and he is trying to win! So much has happened physically to myself and my family that I am convinced that it is spiritual warfare! The reason is because satan thinks that I am not ready and therefore I will not fight back! Also I basically gave satan freedom to do what he wanted when I committed the sins that I did! Now that I am trying to change it all the 2 year old temper tantrums are starting (from him of course)!!! We have hade bronchitis in our house for 7 weeks now (starting in November), I had something pop in my back this past week that has made the pain excrutiating (I would rather be in labor with a baby right now!), every time that I try to start to do something in submitting to my husband or to make right in my home and give to God something happens that is crushing or devastating (feelings that is all I will say!)!!!! Tonight I was able to speak to my best friend and big sister in the whole wide world and did she have an earfull to tell me! Thank you so very, very much sis! I got on my knees and cried out to God!!! My sis reminded me that God is NOT like any man that I know here on earth and that I needed to take EVERYTHING before Him and LAY IT DOWN COMPLETELY!!!! I have done that and I am still working on it! It is not just a 5 minute session that you do and then it is done, it is like something that has to be rewritten! Takes time and tears and changes that can only be made and done by God! It is a daily, no let me change that, minute by minute thing that has to be given to God until it becomes so second nature it is no longer a thought but an action! Recently I caught the movie Facing the Giants on TBN, if you have not seen this movie WATCH IT! It is awesome and it has a Life lesson for everyone! I just feel right now that is exactly where I am at! I am facing Giants, I am in an open field, rain pouring down hard, looking to the left and right and see no covering to run to and hide under, thinking that I should look straight up but justifying why I haven't! "Sorrow looks back.....Worry looks around......Faith looks up!" keeps running through my head but all I keep saying to God is "I don't know if I have enough Faith" and all I keep hearing is "If you have Faith as small as a mustard seed, I can do the rest. Take the first step Shauna". All the pain and hurt that is surrounding me is making my legs feel like there are concrete blocks on both of them and I am not able to lift them. The moment is coming when all of that pain and hurt will be shattered and that step will be taken! Please pray for me if and when you can, pray that God will break down whatever it is that I am blocking from being changed in me. "The Giant is calling out my name and he laughs at me...". Satan you WILL NOT WIN!
I have posted a few videos on here for what I am going through right now and what I feel really ministers to my heart! Also in the top portion I have added Psalm 34 and Psalm 40 as 2 chapters that are really speaking to me right now! I will be reading them every chance that I can! (NKJV version). I need to go for now!
With my heart in His Hands,
Shauna
*SIGH*
5 years ago
Shauna - thanks for sharing your heart, it take strength and humility to do so, and obviously God is at work. I will pray for you girl! Here are a few scriptures for you to keep you encouraged:
ReplyDeletePsalm 130:1-6
Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD! O Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy! If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared. I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord
Isaiah 43:1-2
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
These are just simple, yet profound reminders that God will never leave you or forsake you... all you need to do is trust and have faith in him. He will be there for you every step of the way.
Continued blessings along your journey... your sister in Christ!
x♥x♥x♥
Hello again, dear Shauna,
ReplyDeleteI am struggling, too, (but not as badly as you are) with the hour-by-hour, sometimes minute-by-minute, walk in looking to God in all things.
I am saying a pray for you now and will be praying for you.
Love, Hope
God is blessing you, Shauna.
ReplyDeleteProverbs 3:11-12 and Hebrews 12:1-11 are a big help and encouragement to me.
i'm praying for you.
♥
Look to God, depend on Him; He will give you a glorious, though not nececarily easy victory!
ReplyDelete